I am completely overwhelmed today and hate feeling this way. It feels as though I have no control over anything that is crashing down on me. Perhaps it feels that way because it is that way, or perhaps I can take steps to deal with each matter accordingly. I just don’t know. All I do know if that I want to crawl into bed, pull the covers over my head and sleep. I would like to sleep until everything is resolved and life becomes easier to live again. But since I have never found life easy, I would probably sleep until the end of eternity.
I know that what I need to do is make up a game plan to deal with each little item that seems to be crushing me with it’s weight. For example, I feel overwhelmed financially, so what I should do is re-evaluate my budget in relation to spending habits and try to reconcile the two. Then perhaps I should get out and earn some money. Being a freelance writer doesn’t exactly pay the bills most months. But instead, I’ve opted to lock myself alone in a room on this hot summer’s night and fret about every little thing that is suffocating me at this moment. My financial situation, the sunburn on my back, my fear of not being a good mother, my concerns of not living a life filled with meaning and purpose, and my fears that I’ll never amount to anything. In all honesty, this list could just go on and on and on. Even as I write this, I think, “Just get a grip!” Why is it so much easier said than done?
I'm with you, Jamie. I'm a man of 33. I'm feeling for the first time in my life a weight that is too much to bear. I'm crying spontaneously and feeling like I can't get out of this funk that I'm in. I'm going to a psychologist and hope to be making progress soon. Good to know there are others out there.
ReplyDeleteI also feel completely overwhelmed. especially when Im at work, its a challenging job, but I just feel like I have no conrol over anything and end up staring at the computer screen when I should be doing something about the problems that are landing on my desk. but I dont have the coping resources to do it. Im scared Im going to lose my job. Im scared this is what a breakdown is, and I went to the doctor, but you cant really admit the extent of the despair without sacrificing your career prospects. and I drink more than I used to, I get through a bottle of wine a night if I have it, but restrict myself to two bottles a week. I just cant see a way out.
ReplyDeletei see what you mean im a mom of 5 its so hard to get out of bed everyday let alone stay out of it.i cry all the time while im alone,cause i dont want my children to see me like that.im overwelmed and depressed at its worst i feel like running and never comming back.and i know thats sad.i wish i can go back to normal but i dont know how.i guess i just need help.
ReplyDeletei agree. i feel like i was reading me-
ReplyDeletei either don't sleep or i don't want to get up-
i binge eat then feel sick- i am snappy, i get these big goals then i just can't do them then i feel like a failure- i can never the the house work done- there is always something that just has to be done somewhere i try and try and at the end of the day feel like i got no where-
my kids are my life, but they drain me, mom i want milk, i want i want, but why, no, etc...
alllllll day long- it is just more than tiring-
then when they act up i feel like i have done something to make them do that-
i have had depression since i was a teen- and it just never seems to go away
when i had my second son severe anxiety came in
it was awful i could be standing in a pile of snow and be so worked up over nothing i would be sweating and panic and have to just go-
the worst feeling is feeling alone-
i know i am not but feeling like it-
I fell the same way....i feel alone, i cant find a way to recovery, i cant find a way to feel well and normal again, i just have so much pain and sadness inside that i wish to die...
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing with us. I am a partner to someone who 'secretly' deals with depression and feeling overwhelmed. Although I can not fully understand how he feels, I am patient and understanding. Reading your experiences -which are wonderfully written- have helped me to see what I don't have access to right now. I am certain he will open up about how he feels, as we have slowly started to deal with being 'overwhelmed'. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI HAVE A DREAM
ReplyDelete“Life is a long lost struggle, with nowhere to run, I stand not alone, for there are others, in the valley looking for the top, nowhere in sight, just plenty of rock. From the beginning I climb toward the top, inch-by-inch, step-by-step, one day at a time, each hour of the day, will I make it? Can I make it? How will I make it? I pray each hour of the day, the struggles are hard, battles are long, and will I ever make it to the top? Question not, for I am strong, in my heart I have a dream.
No matter the struggles, no matter the pain, I will make it to the top, the peek is near, I see it now, and I only had to open my eyes. Help is there to see me through, with the helping hand of a worm-hearted Friend. When I am hurting or feel alone, my pain is short, for in my heart I have a dream. I want my family to have the best, no poverty, no pain, no strife; life is risky, with many obstacles, turning accomplishments into rubble. If it is to be, it’s up to me, I alone can make it be, though not alone, with the help of others, for I can make it to the top, if only I except the helping hand of another, I will stand strong, push through the struggles. Why must I accept this life long struggle? Should I give up? Should I except defeat? NO, NO, NO. WHY? BECAUSE I HAVE A DREAM, DO YOU? “
By Mark Bratton
It's good to know I'm not alone. This IS a secret disease that many people don't understand or accept. I'd rather have cancer than depression - it's much more accepted. I hate the stigma associated with any mental illness. I pray to God to just be "normal" but I hear nothing. I've had depression for over 20 years, and I can't make it without antidepressants. What next? Where is the light at the end of this dark corridor? Instead of purchasing pink items that help support cancer research, how about we get black items that help support depression research? I'd like a cure please.
ReplyDeleteIt's nice to know that there are people that feel like me. I go through my whole day feeling like I'm never doing enough like I'm letting people down. Just when I think I'm headed the right way I total my car and get a DUI. I hate to admit that at times it feels like I'm sabotaging my own life with out realizing it. I feel LIke a heavy weight on my chest like, like I'm scared and nervous all at the same time. I pull my self together day in and out doing the things that keep my life on routine just so I know I'm atleast trying to live my life but some days I just feel like instead of making matters better for myself I'm making it worse. Over all I go on because I feel like a little inch inside of me keeps saying that even if I am wrong about finding true happiness with my self one day, if for some reason it never gets better. Atleast I'll have something to look forward to along the way. For now I just pray that one day I can sleep with my heart filled with love and not sorrow. <3
ReplyDeleteI feel that way at this moment. I feel defeated and a failure to my 4 children. I want to smile but also feel like I have tons of weight on my shoulders. I've been crying more lately, lose it on my children - it's horrible. But, life goes on and there are people that need and value us. We ARE strong becaue we never want to get out of bed or just run away but we eventually get up and we do not run. You are not alone but I understand that you feel that you are. Solutions seem so simple but try to take it step by step....looking at the big picture may be too overwhelming. I hope that you find peace within yourself. big hug:)
ReplyDeletei have depression off and on for the past 14 years i have 2 boys that mean the world to me i went through hell and back fighting with there mother to see them that there is when i realised that i have depression i went to my doctor for help he put me on some antidepressants that did work for a while i really noticed now that i look back i was always a little different growing up it seems that i leval off for a bit and than i get kicked down again now i find that it feels like iam sitting in the bottom of a pool looking up and asking myself how am i going to get out of here my girl friend left me and my boys after being with her for 3 years i trully loved her and see blind sided me and really hurt my boys i thought i was cracking up i went back to see my doctor i ended up at the criccis unit at the hosipital i weas there for 8 hours i seen a wonderful doctor that gave me stronger pill which hepled me leval off for a bit i was feeling a bit better and than i was informed that i lost a postion at my work when i was in there for 2 years i also lost 3 dollars an hour i was set for life in that position and only a few min drive i am fighting this depression and there are time i just want to give up there is nothing easy about my life i try to put a smile on and it is very hard my boys are the only reason that iam alive now i hope i can help someone with my story
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you're still alive and fighting! I know your story will help others.
ReplyDeleteI am a 40 year old male. I am married with 2 kids. I have had several bouts of acute anxiety and depression since my teenage years. I have tried 3 different meds at different times in my life, but the side effects were too severe. I go between feeling like a can just get by to being totally overwhelmed. In the spring of 2011, I was diagnosed with severe osteoporosis (what old women usually get), after breaking a vertebrae from shoveling snow. (yes the osteo is that severe). That diagnosis and the redidual physical back pain has sent me into a gradual but steady decline. I also have a high stress job that requires me to work 14 hours a day 5-6 days a week (IT manager). I wake up in the morning, and I have panic attacks at the mere thought of having to live another day. I am exhausted all day and find myself snqpping at people. I only look forward to going to sleep at night. I have trouble falling asleep and the only thought that give me comfort is thinking that the only thing I can contol is that I can end it all if I so choose. I want to get better for my kids, but I am losing the battle. My wife keeps telling me I should be hospitalized, but that would just make me feel worse. I am afraid I will lose my job and/or my family or just crack up. This is not the life i ever thought I would have, but I keep going, trying to tell myself that one day I will get better.
ReplyDeleteIt will get better! Sometimes we allow our thoughts to run our life. But at the end of the day we need to keep going and stay strong for the ones that we love. It'll be worth it in the end. We need to focus on the positive in our lives. It's all about the little things in life that make us happy. Sometimes its just hard to remember what those are. I promise it'll get better. Just take things one step at a time. <3
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