I'm feeling so blue and so down lately. I would give anything to just sleep every day away, but that's never going to happen.
What's really frustrating is not knowing why. Why do I want to just cry? Why do I feel overwhelmed by nothing? Why does life seem so much more difficult for me than other people? Why have I had to resign myself to the fact that life will always be difficult and filled with the ups and downs of depression?
So here I am, fighting another bout of depression, feeling completely exhausted for no reason and holding back the tears that threaten to fall for absolutely no reason.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Just Breathe
Last night I was out at a running clinic doing hill training. As I sprinted up a long hill, with legs burning and lungs gasping for air, I straightened up and shifted my focus away from the pain. Instead I concentrated on just my breathing. I blocked out the pain and the negative thinking and just focused on breathing in and out as deeply as possible.
Then I did that six more times!
I realized that when you push away the negative and focus on what you have to do, you get it done!
Then I did that six more times!
I realized that when you push away the negative and focus on what you have to do, you get it done!
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
Putting things in perspective
I recently found a very inspirational web site that I'd like to share with you. Check out Death is not Dying.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Recognizing Bipolar Disorder in Children and Teens
EverydayHealth.com has posted an article about recognizing bipolar disorder in children and teens that is very interesting. Click here to check out the article!
I believe my depression started as a child, probably around the age of 12. Just as the article mentions, I had many physical symptoms, such as headaches, muscle aches, stomachaches and exhaustion. At the time, the doctors merely looked at my physical symptoms and never connected them to my emotional health. I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.
Although I don't know if I suffer from bipolar disorder or depression, I do know that I could swing between mania and depression several times in a day. One minute it would feel as though the world was going too slow and my brain was moving at the speed of light, understanding everything. Then the next minute I just wanted to crawl into bed and sleep the day away. Not to mention the crying bouts that came about for no reason at all.
Thinking about the level of care I received as a teen, I am inclined to believe that doctors are getting better at recognizing depression and bipolar disorder in children and teens. Which would mean that there hasn't necessarily been an increase in cases, but rather a decrease in misdiagnoses.
What do you think?
I believe my depression started as a child, probably around the age of 12. Just as the article mentions, I had many physical symptoms, such as headaches, muscle aches, stomachaches and exhaustion. At the time, the doctors merely looked at my physical symptoms and never connected them to my emotional health. I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.
Although I don't know if I suffer from bipolar disorder or depression, I do know that I could swing between mania and depression several times in a day. One minute it would feel as though the world was going too slow and my brain was moving at the speed of light, understanding everything. Then the next minute I just wanted to crawl into bed and sleep the day away. Not to mention the crying bouts that came about for no reason at all.
Thinking about the level of care I received as a teen, I am inclined to believe that doctors are getting better at recognizing depression and bipolar disorder in children and teens. Which would mean that there hasn't necessarily been an increase in cases, but rather a decrease in misdiagnoses.
What do you think?
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Feelin' Fine!
After being sick for two and a half weeks, I'm finally on the mend. It was the sinus infection that would not get better!
After the first week, I started to feel down emotionally. I kept thinking that I would never get better and would live the rest of my life in a constant state of sickness. Silly, I know, but I started to spiral down a little bit.
To top it off, my husband was out of town for several days, leaving me alone with two kids, one of whom was just as sick as me. It was difficult, to say the least. But I survived :-)
Fortunately, I'm now on antibiotics and on the mend. As soon as the cold lifted, my mood picked up as well.
Today was the first day in weeks that I felt incredible emotionally. I've been smiling all day - even while doing yard work with the kids (who weren't listening at all and digging up my flowers instead of weeds)!
Even now, at the end of the day, I'm feeling great! I just love days like this. Days when I feel wonderful for no reason. Days when the kids make me smile and remind me to count all my blessings.
I hope you had a great day! If not, keep at it, you never know when one will come along.
After the first week, I started to feel down emotionally. I kept thinking that I would never get better and would live the rest of my life in a constant state of sickness. Silly, I know, but I started to spiral down a little bit.
To top it off, my husband was out of town for several days, leaving me alone with two kids, one of whom was just as sick as me. It was difficult, to say the least. But I survived :-)
Fortunately, I'm now on antibiotics and on the mend. As soon as the cold lifted, my mood picked up as well.
Today was the first day in weeks that I felt incredible emotionally. I've been smiling all day - even while doing yard work with the kids (who weren't listening at all and digging up my flowers instead of weeds)!
Even now, at the end of the day, I'm feeling great! I just love days like this. Days when I feel wonderful for no reason. Days when the kids make me smile and remind me to count all my blessings.
I hope you had a great day! If not, keep at it, you never know when one will come along.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Interesting Article: Sunlight linked to Summer Suicide Spike
Here's an interesting read: Sunlight linked to Summer Suicide Spike
Suicide rates in Greenland increase during the summer, peaking in June, perhaps due to the insomnia caused by incessant daylight, researchers in Sweden say. (read more)
Suicide rates in Greenland increase during the summer, peaking in June, perhaps due to the insomnia caused by incessant daylight, researchers in Sweden say. (read more)
Thursday, May 07, 2009
Sometimes Sleep Scares Me
For the past week I've been pretty sick, with a cold/flu combo that has drained me of all energy. I've been so tired, all I have wanted to do is sleep all day long. Although my body may need sleep right now because of this sickness, it worries me.
In the past, I've used sleep as a means of escape. When I couldn't handle the world, I simply crawled under the covers and fell into a blisfull sleep where depression couldn't touch me.
So this week, every time I climbed into bed during the day, I felt that same sense of relief to drift away into sleep and not think of anything. But the pure joy I got from sleeping made me feel a little guilty, like I was trying to escape instead of get better.
In the past, I've used sleep as a means of escape. When I couldn't handle the world, I simply crawled under the covers and fell into a blisfull sleep where depression couldn't touch me.
So this week, every time I climbed into bed during the day, I felt that same sense of relief to drift away into sleep and not think of anything. But the pure joy I got from sleeping made me feel a little guilty, like I was trying to escape instead of get better.
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